Impromptu road trips, last minute flights to exotic destinations, spontaneous ventures into the unknown… these are familiar experiences for many young people with a free spirit and a yearning for adventure and exploration. I, myself, have had many moments like that which have blessed me with the greatest of memories. But at what point do we have to slow down in life and look for more stability, perhaps contemplate settling in one place with one person? I have been asking myself these questions recently and I’ve found there isn’t a universal answer that can be applied to everyone, we must just listen to our hearts and find our way. We each have our own destinies to fulfil, some may travel forever, some may never travel and then some just slow down when it feels right.
Two weeks ago I booked a flight back to Sydney and marvelled at how I hadn’t even considered the option until a friend suggested it. It seemed like the perfect idea, back to my friends, my favourite place and a guaranteed great time. But after a few days I noticed something was amiss. Where was the excitement , the enthusiasm and elation that usually precedes my trips to Sydney? I began to analyse the situation from every possible perspective with the dreaded fear I’d made a mistake.
During this time I tried to convince myself that my spur of the moment booking was the correct decision (Ssshh brain, I’m never wrong!!) but I still couldn’t shake the negative feelings I had, so I did what any logical person would do. I spoke to my friends over there and they convinced me it was a great idea, as I knew they would. I frequently looked at videos and photos I had taken during my last visit there, boat parties, beach parties, pool parties and not surprisingly , I began to look forward to it.
Three days to go, I packed my suitcase, said some goodbyes and while I still wasn’t totally convinced, I wasn’t allowing myself to consider the alternative. That is until, the day before the flight, when I realised that although there may be many reasons to return to Sydney my heart simply wasn’t in it. It was a difficult decision to make because my heart and my mind were in a challenging duel for many days while I helplessly spectated and waited for the eventual victor to emerge. Thankfully it was my heart.
If you’ve ever asked me for advice I’ll probably have told you not to stress or worry, the answers cannot come to a muddled mind, simply declutter your thoughts and allow your heart to tell you the way to go. But I must admit, this time I struggled with my own advice and even sought the advice of many others although this also conflicted with my firm belief that we have all the answers inside, if we quiet our minds to listen.
But here I am, still in Ireland, obviously not half way to Sydney and I know I made the right decision. I cannot say what specific reason there was to not return except that I must always follow my heart and this time it was not telling me to go to back to my beloved Sydney. Even though the bigger picture is still a mystery to me I have every faith that only good things are on my path and that if it’s meant to be I will return some day to Sydney. Until then XxX